Wednesday, May 26, 2010
child's names
8:43 AM
heyy people..we were just as close to the semi-finals for floorballs, like we were in frisbee :( guess that i would just be walkin around aimlessly tomoro for sports fest hahas :) anyways, just now in class was like damn funn uhh.. dunno why, but qx and jx were like shootin each other durin class about wad their furute child's name would be.. hahas! was like damn funny uhh.. yeaa, it sounds lame, but really fun to watch them :) then jx was like shootin qx that his child's name should be either poo poo toh of blur blur toh? hahas! totally no link lehh; and qx was like shootin back mar sai sai and mar rambutan =.= really random lorr! hahas! then jx suddenly said nizam toh O.O hahas! ouhh, and qx was like down there sayin about the names i would give my child, depending on my "wife's" race.. loll, funny ones: if thailand, would be reezal udomsak toh; if eurasian, reezal pereira toh?! hahas! then the jx said that my child should be reezal baluku toh =.= loll! well, nothin much to blog about :) nites people :)
Monday, May 24, 2010
sports fest
6:12 AM
hey people!
really tired noww..participated in sports fest frisbee just now.. and i tell you.. we were really really close to gettin into semi-finals >.< seriously! but anyways, its already over, and tomoro is floorball :D i dun careee, MUST get into finals!! muahahaha :D ouhh, and i just got my new specs :) yayyy xD well, dun know wad else to update :X so, thats all for now :D
Friday, May 21, 2010
2:36 AM
hayy people..
guess that this weekjust isnt my week :X..
Anyways, i had spent the first two daes after the prelims, exercisin my thumbs :D well, after all, my mind needed the rest anyways.. xD spent the entire two daes being "wasted"!
ouhh, i cleaned my room!! ta-daa! :D its always that untidy during exam periods :X and fyi, thats my floor xD
also played chess wif my sis :D white always wins :D
the whole week has been really baddd.. my results are badd, i sprained my hand, and my specs broke =.= okaee, where to start..
1) results are badd! T.T must must study harder! 'O's are already around the corner >.<
2) was havin PE, playin floorball (*wif Qing Xiang*), and he tripped me! =.= and i sprained my hand..
3) my specs broke! darnn.. playin frisbee, and head-shot! loll xD
well, nothin much to blog about, thats all for now :)
Friday, May 14, 2010
11:27 PM
every once in a while,
i could still feel the excruciating pain in my chest,
and the irregular beatings,
which seem to come more often now..
it hurts so much that it even feels like i am bleedin inside,
yet, i try my best not to show it..
i have been doing really well so far..
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
1:05 AM
I am all numb..
can't you see that you are smothering me?
holding too tightly, afraid to lose control,
cos everything that you thought i would be,
has fallen apart right in front of you..
this is gonna ba a long long post..so heyy people.. know what? life really sucks to the max.. it really does! so, anyways, as i said, its gonna be a long post, but i promise! i will be worth reading :D
over time, people change.. thats just how life is, people change.. like i just met my primary school friend just now, and man, he changed alot.. almost didnt recognise him either.. whether we change for someone, or we change cos we want to, its still a change.. things that leads to us changing, are the very small decisions we make everyday, and all those routes we allow life to bring us to..
well, at times, we take the right routes, and feel like its the best decision we had ever made, and that nothing else would have made you feel so fulfilled.. yet, there are also times where you just regret choosing the route you chose and just wish with all your might that a time machine would suddenly appear in front of you and you could make ammendments to that already miserable life of yours, because the pain is just too unbearable, like someone had just shot you in the chest with an arrow, but shooting you is not enough, for he still has to yank it out of that chest of yours and rip that beating heart out, just to stop the pain..
well, no matter what we do, its all inevitable, for there is nothing we can do but go along with whatever path has been set aside for us by fate and destiny. i hate to admit it, but we are all humans, and even i, have a share of ups and downs, front and back, as i shake myself from side to side, trying my best to wiggle out of whatever mess i am in..
ouh well, if only i had done this, if only i had done that.. no point crying over spilled milk, but it does make sense that we always keep them in mind, to avoid the same mistakes..
ouh, i'll cut to the chase.. if only i had not gone to the taman negara leadership camp, i would never have met her.. if i had never met her, who knows? i could have been a totally different person now, but i guess that its already too late to find out huh? if i had not met her, i would not have started playing disc, if i had not started playin disc, that miserable TV would not have existed, and i would not have gotten so close to that arse(sorry, but i can't think of another suiting word..), and i would not have been caught up by his influences.. and maybe i would still be one of the top few pupils like i was in sec 1 and sec 2..
well, so, in the end, i regret going for the camp.. for how dreadful i feel, to know that you hadnt tell me, though it would have hurt me, it would still have been better than me finding out about it myself.. yess, i know.. and this, i am gonna write next is slightly overdue..
on the 2nd of may, 2010, 9:10pm
i have given up..
this shall be the date that i shall start to forget you,
as i erase memories of you,
and be the person i was supposed to be,
without you in my life..
but me giving up on you,
doesnt mean that i will lose all feelings for you,
for i know that it would be furtile,
no matter what i do,
or how i try..
i had hurt someone, or even people, because i started loving you..
but now, i am just as hurt as all those people, as i suffer, thinking about you..
the first few days were easy.. i was able to do all my stuff like always, and for the first time, in a long time, i felt free, and light-hearted, as if i had just released a huge burden, which i had been carrying for a really long time.. but then the days went by, and i started thinking about you again.. and this was when the arrows started penetrating my heart, causing it to bleed.. but no..
i shall not give in to my emotional self-pity, and let my mental strength take control..
hmm, i just realised that my file is still with you.. but well, i do not need it anymore, so keep it, and know that that was given to you by the old me, the one who had taken many wrong routes and wrong turns in life; someone who is pathetic and emotional.. soon, you are leaving the country for a few days for your trip, but on that day, you are also leaving my heart forever..
Labels: HER, moody
